Letting Go

I need to get something off of my chest. I have been blessed with two beautiful quirky boys. They in turn have been blessed with many people who care about them; and a grandfather.. My father.. who does not care about them.

Since my mother died last year he has done everything in his power to abandon and reject his family. I don't understand this. My boys are young enough that they will never know him, but my niece and nephew have been hurt countless times by this abandonment. He has left a trail of broken promises and our hearts hurt. 

Birthdays and holidays pass (heck, even the birth of Badger) and he chooses to spend his time with his new wife and her family.  He replaced my mother two months after she died and made it official seven months after she passed. He didn't even give himself time to get to know this new woman before rejecting his family for her. Heck, he didn't even tell us he was getting married. She moved in and threw a garage sale throwing out my mother's things without letting us know or asking if we wanted any of it.

We've been replaced.

 

 Badger is six weeks old. My father lives half an hour away and yet he has not once asked to meet his newest grandchild. How can someone reject a new born child? Especially their grandchild?!

Our pastor  (his good friend) said it best,

he's "an idiot".

He's asked twice if he can come over and "drop something off" (my birthday gift... My birthday was in October). I asked if he only wanted to drop things off ? Twice he has answered yes... No other reason. Just a quick drop off.

Had he said he wanted to see my boys and meet his new grandson I would have moved Heaven and Earth and all the stars in the sky to make time for him to come over.....

But he hasn't...

Mum died 477 days ago. Over a year... It's time to face the fact that he does not care. 

Can't care.

Wont care.

 I have been blessed with two beautiful quirky boys.

I 'm sorry that my father does not care or understand what he is missing.

I'm sorry that my children are being denied by him the chance to have their grandfather and can never have their grandmother.

I'm sorry that one day I will have to explain that their grandfather just doesn't care.

No reason given,

He chooses to love someone else's grandchildren in their place.

But that's all on his shoulders.

I'm not going to kick him out of my life. The door is open. I'm just not going to stand waiting in the doorway anymore. 

I don't have time for people who don't have time for my family.

I wont try to keep a one sided relationship with my father just so my kids can see him.

It's not fair to my children.

If you have to FORCE someone to be in your life, it's not love.

So I'm letting go.

We face this New Year clean.

We will surround ourselves with those who do care;

and those who do not care have no idea what wonderful treasure they are missing out on.

In this new year I turn my face towards the sun.

I have cried all my tears and have no more left.

In this new year we turn away from the darkness,

and we will shine.

I have been blessed with two beautiful quirky boys.

~Shine On~