Monday, September 8, 2014

Good Bye for now Mum

Dear Son,
I've been putting this letter off (and hiding from the internet), but feel it's time to tell you about your Grandmama.. My Mum. She passed away last month on the 25th... It came as a shock to everyone. She spent the day harvesting from the garden and making pico de gallo from the garden and the day before painting a Sunday school class room. She was looking forward to starting as a Sunday school teacher... Then after she washed the dishes she lay down on the floor, in the home that she had lived in for more than 33 years,, told your Grandpapa she was not feeling so well and breathed her last. We are told it was her heart. She never had problems with her heart and right now our family's hearts are all breaking. She was 66 and so very alive. 
I want to tell you a little about her. First, you should know that she and I never had a very good relationship until you came along; However! When you were born she started to see me in a new light; as a capable woman, and a mother. I will never forget the day (June 20th) when my parents came over for tea. They had a million things to do but I begged them to come over for some sun brewed tea and just sit out in the gazebo to enjoy the gardens for a while. They came and it was beautiful. The sun was out in an impossibly blue sky. There was a cool breeze that kept the mosquitoes at bay.. While walking through the gardens my Mum turned to me and said, "this is truly beautiful, you've done a good job". I nearly cried. I think that is the first time I ever heard those words from her. I won her approval at last. This past year was a golden one.. Perhaps that's what makes this so hard. She was everything I dreamed a mother could and should be, and I miss her so much. 
She loved you. She loved you completely. Every moment she could she would pick you up and smother you in kisses and hugs. She was always trying to feed you some tidbit. Every time you saw her she would comment on what a beautiful boy you are. You are so young. I hope you remember something about her when you are older. She loved you so much. We went over to visit often and they came here, but you only went on three big outings with her. You went to Como conservatory in the winter, The Lake Harriet Lake Calhoun Rose Gardens this past spring and the beautiful walking paths of the Elm Creek Dog Park. I want to write them down so they are not forgotten. Those are three of my favorite places to visit. I am so glad we got to share them.
 There will be stories to share when you are older. Like why I call her "Mum"... Long story short, it is a word for "mother" and a word for a "Flower". 
She was a master gardener for over 25 years. A tree inspector, a director in a children's youth ministry called AWANA. The best cook that ever lived and the worst singer (sorry Mum, you really were a horrible singer.. and I would do anything to hear you again).. She made thunder when she danced and probably still does. Think of her when it rains.  She was heavily involved with Monarch Watch a butterfly conservation project. She built many Butterfly gardens at elementary schools to help teach children the importance of butterflies and nature. This fall she and Grandpapa would have been married for 47 years... She was a Vietnam Vet and was buried with full military honors...
It was a fitting tribute, but even more fitting was the monarch that flitted past immediately after the 21 gun salute. I know that was a message from her.
She is happy now, whole, healthy, and free.
I love you my son. Please remember her.
Shine on. 
Love Mum~


  1. I am so very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful letter, and tribute to her. I am glad that you were able to heal the relationship over the last year, and that your little man was able to get to know her.

    And now I understand the butterfly.

    Sending hugs to you, and lots of love, light and peace. xo

    1. Thanks Kim, lots of hugs, love, light, and peace are most welcome. Take care.

  2. i'm sorry for your loss. Loosing someone...especially your mother must be so difficult.
    thank you for sharing your beautiful letter.

    1. Thank you Erica, I hope these letters help my son one day. Usually they are a joy to write. This one was.... A bit harder.. Take care.

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  4. Again. so sorry... She seemed like a strong person. I'm so happy you two found peace in the end. Your words are so beautiful, I can't imagine a better tribute. xo

  5. I'm sorry. My mother was only 56 when she died after a long battle with cancer. We at least had time to say our goodbyes. Life isn't quite the same again. The way I think and act and plan my life has changed. Fifteen years later, I still miss her. I'm sorry for your loss.