Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Welcome, My Son.

Welcome, my Son to this wide and wondrous world. Yours was not the birth we had planned for you. We wanted you to enter this world in our home surrounded by love and comfort, but my body was not strong enough in the end. Plans had to change quickly or we both could have been lost. It was no ones fault and could not have been avoided. This was just the way my genetics played out. 6 days before your estimated due date our midwife sent us to the hospital because some of our lab works were slightly off. When we arrived only half an hour later, things had progressed at an alarming rate. My platelets were low, my blood pressure was extremely high, my blood oxygen levels were dangerously low, my protein count was ten times what it should have been, I was in the first stages of organ failure, and I was at high risk for a stroke or seizure at any moment. The decision was made that you had to come out if we both were to survive.  Amazingly as I got worse and worse, your heart rate remained perfect throughout all of what was to come.  Though I did not feel them yet I was already having contractions at 7 minutes apart and was dilated to 4cm. The only method of induction they had to use was to break my water and things got rolling. 
Our wonderful Doula (Laura) came driving home from Chicago (a 6 to 8 hour drive) the second she heard what was going on. She was amazing and gave me the focus I needed. Our midwife (Cathrine) came to be with us. She also was amazing and took command of that little hospital room. Your Poppy, my Bear, my strength, my love, was there by my side the entire time and yes, he was also amazing. There was so much love in his eyes and I drew so much strength from him as he literally held us together. We filled that room with strength and love despite the bright lights and a Dr. who stood back and made it clear what she thought of home births. We ignored her and did what we had to do. Somehow we managed to convince the hospital staff that I needed no pain killers (I was able to give you that at least). My hips started to sublex and your Poppy and a nurse braced me on either side. The hospital refused to let us labor in any position other than on our back (I am sorry. I did not want you to have to work around my pubic bone so hard). I tore. I tore bad, but we kept going. You stopped while crowning for an hour and a half to two hours. I could feel your head but you would not come the rest of the way out. We could get though this. That much I knew for certain.  
After 10 hours of labor on April 14th at 10:27pm you made your way into this world. Your father carried you up to me and laid you across my chest. They would not let us wait for the cord to stop pulsing like we had planned, but your Poppy was the one who got to cut it. You began looking for food immediately and I refused to let the nurses take you from me. They preformed every test they could while you were in my arms. I think you were about two hours old before they convinced me to let them weigh you right next to your Poppy and I (and then to return you immediately). You were 8 lbs and 5 oz, 20 inches long, and perfect in every way. 
10 days later and I am still on bed rest. My blood pressure is still extremely high but we are home. We've had a few scares since, and you developed a rather nasty case of jaundice, but we were able to treat you here at home and even that has cleared up now. We are doing fine. We are going to make it.
I sit here with you in my arms and think, while this is not how we planned for your birth to go, it is where we needed to be. The people who needed to be there were there, and what had to happen happened. There were so many prayer warriors around the world praying us through this and God heard every single one of their sweet voices. Truly nothing but the grace of God brought us through this. We are home. We are healthy. We are safe. We are family and you are our son. This is how you entered this world. Glory to God indeed! Proof evident that prayers are heard and answered.. Even if it's not what we planned it is what God planned. In His wisdom and mighty hands I place my trust and you, my son.Welcome to this wide and wondrous world. With all my love, Your Mum.


  1. What a perfect little man you have! He's so cute!

  2. What a beautiful baby! You had a harrowing experience and it is good to hear that you are getting better and that the baby's health was unaffected by your medical scare. Try not to dwell on what didn't go as planned. There are great limits to what we can plan in childbirth! Nature completely takes over! It's pretty amazing and a crazy ride. Take care and have fun cuddling Bear and the baby!


  3. Hello Beth and Rachel, Thank you for the comments. We are ok! I got the go ahead yesterday to start doing things again (small things, but still). BP is still high but no longer in the hypertensive category and my other labs have settled down. Our little red panda is snuggled up next to me and doing just fine. This weekend we will take him for a short (only 5 minute) walk outside. The sooner he can touch nature the better. Beth, he loves to stare at the doll Sweetie Pie. I keep her near for when he gets fussy. Thank you. Have a blessed day.

  4. Oh he is the most beautiful babe, such a sweet wee face
    Welcome to the world
    And he has you both to hold him tight and shower him with love and kisses

    Love and much light dear, Marie

  5. Oh yes - so glad to hear that while it may not have happened exactly as you would have wished it, it is all good now - or at least, on it's way to being good. I hope you heal well, and quickly and that your wonderful little fellow grows and thrives - congratulations just doesn't seem quite like enough!

  6. Welcome to your dear little one, what a journey for you both!! I do hope you can take lots of time for rest and healing, and of course the good nature time too. Many well wishes, Renee