Thursday, December 17, 2015

Letting Go

I need to get something off of my chest. I have been blessed with two beautiful quirky boys. They in turn have been blessed with many people who care about them; and a grandfather.. My father.. who does not care about them.
Since my mother died last year he has done everything in his power to abandon and reject his family. I don't understand this. My boys are young enough that they will never know him, but my niece and nephew have been hurt countless times by this abandonment. He has left a trail of broken promises and our hearts hurt. 
Birthdays and holidays pass (heck, even the birth of Badger) and he chooses to spend his time with his new wife and her family.  He replaced my mother two months after she died and made it official seven months after she passed. He didn't even give himself time to get to know this new woman before rejecting his family for her. Heck, he didn't even tell us he was getting married. She moved in and threw a garage sale throwing out my mother's things without letting us know or asking if we wanted any of it.
We've been replaced.
 Badger is six weeks old. My father lives half an hour away and yet he has not once asked to meet his newest grandchild. How can someone reject a new born child? Especially their grandchild?!
Our pastor  (his good friend) said it best,
he's "an idiot".
He's asked twice if he can come over and "drop something off" (my birthday gift... My birthday was in October). I asked if he only wanted to drop things off ? Twice he has answered yes... No other reason. Just a quick drop off.
Had he said he wanted to see my boys and meet his new grandson I would have moved Heaven and Earth and all the stars in the sky to make time for him to come over.....
But he hasn't...
Mum died 477 days ago. Over a year... It's time to face the fact that he does not care. 
Can't care.
Wont care.
 I have been blessed with two beautiful quirky boys.
I 'm sorry that my father does not care or understand what he is missing.
I'm sorry that my children are being denied by him the chance to have their grandfather and can never have their grandmother.
I'm sorry that one day I will have to explain that their grandfather just doesn't care.
No reason given,
He chooses to love someone else's grandchildren in their place.
But that's all on his shoulders.
I'm not going to kick him out of my life. The door is open. I'm just not going to stand waiting in the doorway anymore. 
I don't have time for people who don't have time for my family.
I wont try to keep a one sided relationship with my father just so my kids can see him.
It's not fair to my children.
If you have to FORCE someone to be in your life, it's not love.
So I'm letting go.
We face this New Year clean.
We will surround ourselves with those who do care;
and those who do not care have no idea what wonderful treasure they are missing out on.
In this new year I turn my face towards the sun.
I have cried all my tears and have no more left.
In this new year we turn away from the darkness,
and we will shine.
I have been blessed with two beautiful quirky boys.
~Shine On~


  1. I don't even know what to say, other than that I am so very sorry.

    We are sitting in children's hospital awaiting the results to find out whether his only granddaughter's heart murmur is or isn't caused by the same life-threatening condition that two of us have now been diagnosed with. Not a word of concern for that either.

    I don't know why we're not good enough. I don't know why we were replaced. But Mummy taught us that we can make our own family. Maybe it's time we take her advice.

    1. Yeah, making our own family. Last night watching Panda at his first Christmad play and seeing how many people that are family by choice and not blood that showed up for him is what prompted this. Time to move forward. We are both blessed with so many people that DO care. Praying for good results. Shine sister.. Shine.

  2. Oh my friend, I am so sorry. It hurts reading this, and I can only imagine how much it hurts to be living it. Know that you are in my thoughts, and prayers as you move forward into the New Year, and get ready to shine.


    1. Thank you Kim, actually I feel much better after writing this. I really was getting it off my chest. Acknowledged and foot down. Time to move forward. Shine my friend.

  3. I know you have shared much of this with me before, but I want to say again how sorry I am that this is the way things are for you and your family. My heart is with you my dear.


    1. Thanks Yanic, I think I'm finally in acceptance of this. I feel much better after having written it. Writing can be very therapeutic. Shine.